Friday, May 30, 2008

The great cookie binge 2008

It all started Wednesday morning. I didn't feel well to begin with, and being pretty sure the world had turned its back on me by lunchtime, I experienced a total grouch-fest/meltdown. There was only one appropriate action to take. I needed cookies. Not just any cookies mind you, but the buttery, rich, crumbly shortbread cookies that OMC used to keep in the glass jar on the counter. You know the ones, and I'm telling you, I needed those cookies like a junkie needs a fix. All day long I fought the urge. Of course, the more I fought, the stronger it became. I made it home and after eating a plate of spaghetti with some pretty questionable meat sauce, I decided I could make it at least an hour or two without those cookies.

Fast forward to late Wednesday evening (after church) when, with the support of my loving and understanding husband (who seeking to ward off the wrath of his dragon-wife and being bribed persuaded by the promise of a stop at the Starbucks next door), I walked out of Kroger with my large cloth grocery sack full of cookies. Trevor opened the car door for me (as he often does) and hadn't even managed to make it back around and into his door before I had ripped open that golden packaging with the plastic rack inside and devoured two cookies. Having promised our hero Trevor a stop at Starbucks, I figured the only thing that would make me happier at that moment than those cookies was a short, nonfat, (giggle) vanilla latte...and two more cookies...

That's four shortbreads and one latte. And one giant chocolate chip cookie I stole from Trevor's bag sometime between the two shortbreads and him shutting his door at.the.grocery.store. And that's not all. @_@ The shortbread tasted so good with the coffee, that I was certain I needed two more. Of course, by the time we got home, I needed something salty to balance out the sweetness of the cookie/coffee combo. So you're asking yourself, "Jamie, why wouldn't you just pull out the newly opened can of Pringles and pop a third of them into your mouth?" Good observation my darling reader...you know me all too well.

Binge count: six shortbreads, one latte, one giant chocolate chip cookie, 1/3 can of Pringles. You might think that I stopped there. And after one final (seventh) shortbread I did. For the night.

I woke up late yesterday morning as I often do, scrambled to get ready, and ran out of the house without breakfast. Don't worry, I packed myself an apple to eat once I arrived at the office, and a nice salad (with lo-cal dressing) for lunch. I also may or may not have thrown SEVEN shortbread cookies in the sack just in case the cravings returned. Sure enough, those little blond temptresses somehow managed to find their way into my belly - one on the way to work, two with the first cup of coffee, two more with a the second cup, and two more after lunch.

I think it was around 2:00 yesterday afternoon that while sitting in my rolly-chair, hovering over my trashcan and gripping my rumbling tummy, I realized the binge was over. Way over. #_#

All in all, the count came to 14 shortbreads, one giant chocolate chip, one latte, 1/3 can of pringles...all in less than 15 hours (8 of which were spent sleeping). Oye Ve! o.O I need some Tums.

4 comments:

Jenni said...

I just laughed out loud through that entire thing. I am at work so I was trying to keep it silent because people around me were starting to wonder what about work could possibly be so funny. Perhaps I should get back to real work. I just love you!! :)

Jenni

katie henbest said...

oh Jame! i don't know if i have read a blog that made me smile this much. you are hilarious. my favorite is 5 (or 6?) hotdogs after you said goodbye to Trev while we were traveling.

Anonymous said...

You are my daughter after all. (Sometimes I wonder!)

TracyMichele said...

Great, now I have a deep desire for shortbread. *sigh*