Sunday, June 29, 2008

Keep your pants on, if you can find some!

So my wife tried a new budget for us and it worked brilliantly. It worked so well we had enough money to do something we haven't done in a long time. We got to shop...for clothes...for me! I wear an issued uniform at work so getting to put on clothes without a flaming Gaylord Opryland "G" branded somewhere very noticeable is a rare occasion. There is just one problem.

No one makes GOOD and AFFORDABLE clothes for men.

Maybe I am too picky. I really just want to look nice. I don't need to make a statement. I just want a graphic tee shirt that doesn't have two huge eagles who have been set on fire while waging war over the number 8. I also don't really want to where a shirt that says "Real cowgirls ride longer than 8 seconds". As funny as that may be, I do bump into people who wouldn't see it that way.

"So just buy a plain tee shirt" you say. That is a great idea! I have tried. I have big shoulders and apparently the maker of all plain shirts has come to the conclusion that if you have big shoulders than you also probably look 11 months pregnant. If I go with a medium shirt than I do get a good fit around the middle but look like I am auditioning for the Hulk's body double when he is just starting to get mad.

Jeans aren't any better. You basically have two choices. Do you want to wear baggy, acid washed jeans that could carry an emergency hammer or do you want to use Bush's tax refund and put some Paul Smith Jeans on layaway. Want some shorts? Well, if you have 9 items you carry with you at all times but you HATE it when they are in the same pocket, don't fret. Just buy some ever popular cargo shorts. Don't worry, I have some because they are the only shorts that don't show off my man thighs. I know how you ladies love the man thighs and so does Ralph Lauren. I tried some Polo shorts on and my boxer briefs where showing out of the bottoms.

Could someone make some good clothes that fit, that don't have the name of the store in 50 inch letters and that don't cost my entire paycheck? I would be very appreciative.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Please shut your mouth!

I have been told I am a laid back person. I am totally cool with that. I am passionate about certain things and the older I get, the more passionate I become. However, for the most part I am a very relaxed guy. In order to retain my calm demeanor, something will have to change. I will either have to stop watching golf on T.V. or the people at these PGA events are going to have to SHUT THEIR IGNORANT MOUTHS!!!

I don't know when people started yelling, "Get in the hole" after a golfer swings. My guess is someone heard a golfer say it after said golfer hit a good shot and thought the ball might actually end up in the hole. Regardless of the origin, what used to be an occasional occurrence has now become a primitive and benighted ritual.

Let me try to explain a little for those of you who don't understand golf. Every hole has a "par". "Par" is the expected number of strokes it should take to play a certain hole on the course. So, a par 3 should only take three strikes of a golf ball to coerce it into the hole. Subsequently, a par four would take four strokes and, you guessed it, a par 5 would take five. A "Hole in one" is when the ball goes in the hole on the first shot. This happens occasionally on par threes because they are close enough to reach the green in one shot. It has happened a few times on the longer par fours. A "hole in one" has only been recorded three times on par fives because of the long distance. So when a golfer, even Tiger Woods, hits his first shot on a par 5, the chance of it "going in the hole" is 3 to however many times people have teed off on a par five. Not very good odds.

I watched Tiger play the entire third round at the 2008 U.S. Open. After EVERY SINGLE SHOT (including his tee shots at all four par fives), some arrogant idiot who payed way too much money to come watch an intelligent sport they apparently know nothing about would yell, "get in the hole".

Golf is an amazing sport and I am very glad it is becoming more popular. However, for anyone who has attended a golf match and shouted those four mindless and idiotic words I refuse to repeat, I have some advice for you. "SHUT THE F...RONT DOOR". Buy some pork rinds and PBR with the money you saved NOT going to the U.S. Open and do whatever it takes to realize THE BALL CAN'T HEAR YOU!

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Prison

As many of you know, Trevor is leading music for a service at our church that attempts to bridge the gap between our recovery ministry with lifelong church-goers. His involvement has touched me so deeply and I can see the Lord working in powerful ways in his life.

I didn't realize how much it was affecting me until I read a letter we received from a prisoner at work today. In the letter, he spoke of how he got messed up with the wrong crowd, went to prison, lost his family, his wife, and thought his life was over. There in prison, someone told him about the Lord and his life was radically changed. He believes that God intervened and after serving only 8 months of his 5 or so year sentence, he was released. God restored his family, his marriage and his life. He began to attend church services with his family, desiring to live out his days in service to the Lord. Until, because he was an ex-con, he couldn't find work. They lost their home and moved into a motel. He still couldn't find work, and they lost their car. He and his wife were forced to send their two young sons to live with a grandmother so they could go to school and have some kind of a normal, stable home-life. His wife was still working, but they were barely scraping by. Pretty soon their marriage fell apart. Still unable to find work, he was forced out onto the streets with no where to go; no way to get there; nothing to call his own. He said in the letter that he dropped 30 pounds in 4 months for lack of food...he had hit the bottom. Pretty soon, he was in trouble again and now back in prison. No one comes to see him. No one writes him letters. He feels utterly hopeless and alone. He is remorseful for what he has done and feels that even the Lord can't forgive him for what he has done. Says that God gave him his chance and he blew it.

Three months ago, I would have struggled to find a ton of compassion for this man. "He's paying for his crimes," I would have said. "He must face the consequences of his actions." But today as I read his letter, my heart was stirred. What would I do if because of wrong choices in my past, my future looked completely hopeless? If I had nothing - not a roof over my head or food to eat or a warm place to sleep...What would I do if I believed that not even God could love or forgive me for what I had done?

To be honest, I just want to run to that prison cell and embrace him and tell him about a Loving God who cherishes his very being, wants to forgive him for what he has done, and invites him to come back to the table.

I think of the women and men that I have had the privilege to meet through our recovery ministry. I only know bits and pieces of their stories, but I know that some have been addicted to drugs for 20, 30, 40 years. Some have walked the streets, sold themselves, done terrible things - and today rejoice at what God alone has done in their lives. I am humbled because these folks know what it is like to be in the very pit of despair and to allow the Lord to come in, take over, and lift them up. I don't have enough adoration in my being for what God deserves...He is truly the awesome, loving, almighty God. May I never forget what He has done for me - my sins, like filthy rags can be left at the foot of the cross where Christ hung so I can walk free, clean and blameless to the throne of the Father. As it is written: "Come now, let us reason together," says the Lord. "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool." Isaiah 1:18
Glory be to God alone for all that He has done!

John 8:36
"So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." I pray that this man will encounter someone this very day who will share with Him the message of glorious redemption that is found in Christ Jesus our Lord.