It's official (this is Jamie speaking): I hate Valentine's Day. I'm not sure why suddenly this year I feel so strongly about it. I've never had a bad Valentine's Day experience. I never had a boyfriend who forgot about it, my parents always have made a point to do a little something for each of us in the form of chocolates or cookies or a gift card, and Trevor traditionally sends flowers to my office. And for that, I am extremely apreciative and grateful. But this year I do, I hate it...and I'm being a real grumpy-britches about it too.
I think the thing I hate most about it is that I heard people in my office talking about buying their spouses new expensive sunglasses and clothing and jewelry. Then I saw this really terrible ad for pajamagrams, and inevitably when I go to the grocery tonight, I will see dozens of vases teaming with roses and marked up 200% of what they are actually worth. It's not that I mind presents...at Christmas and Birthdays...
And then there's the email I got from The Melting Pot advertising some crazy Valentine's Day special for only $175/couple. When really, we could wait and go there next Tuesday or any other day and have a fantastically nice meal for $75!
I guess it's like all things in American culture: rampant consumerism has ruined the original idea of it all which was this: a designated day to show the people you love that you care about them. Then again, why is it that we need a socially mandated day to express our love for those around us? How much more special would it be for a husband to drop by and pick up flowers and chocolates for his wife, some random Thursday in June, just to see her face light up when he walks through the door? My boss says that it's a holiday for guilty husbands and I think he's right. If people need a specific date on the calendar to show their wives how much they care - what does that say about the current state of marriage/relationships? It's been hyped up by society for one simple reason: for businesses to make money.
On the other hand, I got an email from my dad today saying that my brother wanted to do something special for my mom today and wondering if we wanted to be in on it. Of course I said yes, and my heart can't help but be glad when I think of the look on her face when our gift is delivered to her this afternoon at school. She's going to love it and it's going to be an outward, physical reminder to her that she has 4 kids who love her so much. It's not like she doesn't know - we say it all the time, and try to display it in our actions, but today she will be reminded once again how much she means to us. And for that, I can't help but be a little excited.
So I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't say that I hate Valentine's Day. I guess I should say that I hate what Valentine's Day, like most holidays, has become, and it challenges me to take what our culture says I should do tomorrow, February 14, and spread it out throughout the year. To make sure that my loved ones KNOW how much they mean to me all the time. To do special little things for people, just so I can see the look on their faces...I have so many people to love...
2 comments:
i agree wholeheartedly on all points. anyone who let's themselves get swept up in the commercial version of any holiday should probably do some soul-searching. that said, there's nothing wrong with making certain days special occasions. after all, if we did this everyday, we would not have an opportunity to out-do yourself.
one element you neglected: valentine's, along with many other holidays, is a great excuse to buy a new dress. so it has that going for it.
thanks for starting the conversation. you're lovely!
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