If I could

Last night we went to a praise service as part of welcome week for Trevecca Nazarene University. I think we went mostly because the service was being held in our brand new Family Life Center at church and we wanted to see how the space would accommodate large services. As the service began, we enjoyed the high energy music and lights, dreaming of a time when we might be able to hold a weekly college service of our own in the new facility. The music stopped, and onto the stage stepped a cute young girl with brown hair. I recognized her from Carrie's dorm and settled into my seat, figuring that this was the testimony that would come before the message and that we would all get to know what powerful things the Lord was doing in this girl's life. She proceeded to tell about how her parents had recently separated and how she didn't know how she could ever handle it. She was so vulnerable and finished with something like, "I don't know how to find God in this situation," and walked off the stage. Instantly I was transported back to being a 13 year old girl, scared and confused about the turns my life was taking, trying to be brave for the others...I cried. And cried. And cried some more. At one point, I had to leave the service. I finally pulled myself together until we were headed home and Trevor asked me if I was okay. I cried again. I cried for my hurt, and I cried for the hurts of all the others around me who were affected by my situation. I cried for the girl who had opened up and shared her heart in the service. Honestly, it felt good to let a little more out. But it made me wonder: how much more is in there? How is it that even when I feel my life is so put together, one little thing can trigger all the hurt I thought I had sorted through?

This morning I still feel a little like that teenager, trying to find my way through my circumstances, but I was reminded of a song. A song that was so precious to me and through which Jesus made Himself real to me in the midst of my trials. I want to share it with you:

When I cannot feel
When my wounds don't heal
Lord I humbly kneel hidden in You
Lord You are my life
So I don't mind to die
Just as long as I'm
Hidden in You

If I could just sit with You awhile
If You could just hold me
Nothing could touch me
Though I'm wounded though I die
If I could just sit with You awhile
I need You to hold me
Moment by moment
'Til forever passes by

I hope it will bring some comfort into your weary soul today.