Sunday, June 29, 2008

Keep your pants on, if you can find some!

So my wife tried a new budget for us and it worked brilliantly. It worked so well we had enough money to do something we haven't done in a long time. We got to shop...for clothes...for me! I wear an issued uniform at work so getting to put on clothes without a flaming Gaylord Opryland "G" branded somewhere very noticeable is a rare occasion. There is just one problem.

No one makes GOOD and AFFORDABLE clothes for men.

Maybe I am too picky. I really just want to look nice. I don't need to make a statement. I just want a graphic tee shirt that doesn't have two huge eagles who have been set on fire while waging war over the number 8. I also don't really want to where a shirt that says "Real cowgirls ride longer than 8 seconds". As funny as that may be, I do bump into people who wouldn't see it that way.

"So just buy a plain tee shirt" you say. That is a great idea! I have tried. I have big shoulders and apparently the maker of all plain shirts has come to the conclusion that if you have big shoulders than you also probably look 11 months pregnant. If I go with a medium shirt than I do get a good fit around the middle but look like I am auditioning for the Hulk's body double when he is just starting to get mad.

Jeans aren't any better. You basically have two choices. Do you want to wear baggy, acid washed jeans that could carry an emergency hammer or do you want to use Bush's tax refund and put some Paul Smith Jeans on layaway. Want some shorts? Well, if you have 9 items you carry with you at all times but you HATE it when they are in the same pocket, don't fret. Just buy some ever popular cargo shorts. Don't worry, I have some because they are the only shorts that don't show off my man thighs. I know how you ladies love the man thighs and so does Ralph Lauren. I tried some Polo shorts on and my boxer briefs where showing out of the bottoms.

Could someone make some good clothes that fit, that don't have the name of the store in 50 inch letters and that don't cost my entire paycheck? I would be very appreciative.

4 comments:

kylee said...

I have many times thought "It would be so much easier to shop as a boy!" but Trevor, I today have changed my mind and am sorry for the lack of options. does your urban have a sale rack?

Greg said...

HA HA HA! Funny stuff. Maybe you should try Banana Republic Outlet at Opry Mills. They usually have better sales and their clothes are decent.

katie henbest said...

www.trendyblanks.com = wonderful.
American Apparel discounted.
they do have size xxxxxxxs or something - but i think their bigger sizes fit well too. not saying you are fat, cause you aren't!...just tall and strrroonnnggg.

T rev said...

Thanks for the tips. Trendy blanks is sweet, Banana has good stuff and Urban is coming soon. I am considering going to the old school pajamas with attached feet and a butt flap and being done with it all!