You don't know me starbucks! (by Trevor)

It is officially my favorite time of the year. If there is weather in heaven it will be Autumn all the time. The leaves will always be a multitude of colors, there will always be football games or highlights on the tube and you will always have the option of the "shorts and a sweatshirt" combo. One more thing that makes this season the best is coffee tastes so much better when it's cold.

Enter Starbucks.

Starbucks has become tradition on a Lubiens' Sunday morning. It also typically makes us late to choir and orchestra run-through, but at least we have our priorities in line. In the last couple months I have started to notice that Starbucks has made a change in their protocol. It was a minor irritant at first but has grown into and proven to always be a very awkward experience.

Starbucks is teaching their employees to be mind readers. And not doing a very good job I might add. Lately when you pull into the drive-thru the barista working the headset will say something along the lines of, "Welcome to Starbucks, this is Kim and Christina. How are you doing today?" First of all, are you Kim or Christina? And secondly, do you want to know who all is in the car with me and how all of us are doing? Of course I will say I'm fine and then ask how they are today. Then comes the crystal ball time.

With the addition of the shakes and energy drinks and taking into account double and triple shots, short, tall, grande, venti, sugar, raw sugar, sweetener, all the flavored syrups, all the sugar free syrups, decaf, skim milk, whole milk, half n' half, iced drinks and all the other additives and subtractitives, the ammount of options could be in the hundreds of thousands. Still, without failure, Kim or Christina will take a hack at guessing my drink of the day.

"How about I make you a grande caramel frappe?"

Seriously?!? You haven't even seen me! I promise you I do not look like a caramel frappe guy. Now that I'm thinking about it, I don't know what kind of a coffee guy I look like. If I had to guess, and if I worked at Starbucks I would have to, I would say I am a venti mocha guy. I'm not, but that is what I think I look like. After seeing some people you could make a good guess as to what kind of drink they like but not by simply hearing their muffled drive-thru voice!

This Sunday was a little different. Jamie stayed home for first service to get ready to sing in a concert later that night. So I made a solo coffee run without my wife. I pulled into the drive-thru and sure enough the guessing game started with me trying to figure out if the man wearing the headset was Daniel or Stephanie. He, who I can safely assume was Daniel, asked if my morning was going well and I told him that it was so far. And then, Daniel took a stab at my drink.

"Can I get you a pumpkin spice latte today?"

Without my wife who is my socially acceptable filter I replied,

"Nope! Guess again!"

Daniel did not want to guess again. Apparently there is one guess per customer limit.

Starbucks, I love you. Without you I would be forced to drive many miles and drink gamble coffee until I found something that tastes close to what you have. You have fallen away from the artistry that is specialty coffee but you are so consistently great. Just one simple question, what's wrong with the good old fashioned "Welcome to Starbucks. What can I get for you?" Please oh please stop pushing your seasonal drinks in a guessing format and just let me order what I want.